Castoria Puzzle

This is precisely the kind of labor in which I hope everyone gets to participate today. After you’ve spent an hour or so in the sun, had a cup or two of the coffee, hiked, biked, liked, or psyched yourself into doing a few chores around the house that you’ve really been meaning to do and since it’s a holiday and you’re on extra time, there’s really no excuse for leaving them undone so you might as well start off the coming week with a cleaner slate and state—after those things, get ye to the dollar store or Goodwill and bring home a brand-spankin’ new puzzle.

There’s something about knowing that the answer is included in the box of jumbled pieces that’s really reassuring. You just have to sit with it long enough for the answer to reveal itself. Not to lean too heavily on this metaphor, but trying to mash the pieces into spots where they actually don’t belong doesn’t work. As someone who has is not always the Zen center of patiently waiting, puzzles are the perfect reminder for me that sitting with a problem long enough, looking at all the shapes and colors of its components, and then try and re-trying different combinations of the materials you have to work with until the thing is done is your only option. There’s always at least one point at which you’ll (fine, make that “I will”) scream and throw your hands up and say something like, “We’re missing pieces!! There’s no flipping way that these are all we have to work with, something must be eluding us and it’s definitely someone else’s fault!! We’ve been wronged!” You can blame the dollar store for purveying cheap crap, Goodwill for selling previously used puzzles, or fate for cursing you to be the person who buys the one factory-defective puzzle on the shelf. Scream, jump around. Pour a stiff drink. Whatever.

About 10 minutes later, you’ll have puzzled and puzzed ’til your puzzler is sore (yes, I think of this line from The Grinch Who Stole Christmas every single time), and then you’ll realize that you do actually have all the right pieces, and it was only you own impatience and ineptitude that kept them from going into the right places.

So, whether you’re literally sitting down and piecing together what will become a magical purple wolf howling at the moon, or you’re working on a less-defined, bigger-picture mystery, I hope that the solving of the thing is fun. All the pieces really probably are in there, somewhere.

Crazy Little Thing Called Rage

Do you guys ever have that thing where you think you should really update your blog because you’ve really been meaning to and it’s been too long and you really want to, etc, yadda yadda, and so on, but the things that are in your head are all the terribly horrible things that are happening and you feel that posting about anything other than the terribly horrible things is a waste of your voice and a disservice to the community, but then also at the same time you feel like all you really have to add to the conversation of such horror is rage and what good does that ever really do and also you’re slightly embarrassed for not shouting said rage from the rooftops from day one but you didn’t because things this horrible make your heart hurt so badly that your brain completely shuts down? Yeah, I have that thing, too.

I thought John Oliver did a good job covering Ferguson, as he’s done with most of the horrible, terrible, no good, very bad things since his show started. All I really have to add is this:

Dear Everyone,

No more shooting children. Ever. For any reason.

The end love E.

Friday Fun, Via Fake Michael Kors


Since I started blogging, I’ve discovered something utterly delightful: spam comments! I’m a) hugely flattered that spambots think that my site will get them the readership they so desperately want and b) completely flummoxed by the idea that there are so many fake Michael Kors products available. Like, so many. My grammar police side screams and wails at the heinous infractions these bots dream up, and my sci-fi nerd side can’t help but imagine my beloved Data saying each phrase. So, I’ve collected a few of my most favorite spam comments here, and will now go and research the best spam-blocking plug ins so as to reclaim my life from the swirling gyre that is knock-off watches and bags.

“Also in past night’s demonstrate, the ethics of the Conservative cabinet minister are now being questioned upon Ecosystem Minister Leona Aglukkak was the guest of honour at a fundraiser in Ottawa surrounded by teams that depend on federal funds. Ottawa bureau chief Robert Fife noted on the specifics as well as principles round conflict of desire.”
—fake michael kors
It’s like they know me! I totally care about Ecosystem. The most! Bots are so considerate nowadays!

“no the b album necropedosadomaso is from sewer not moray man liberalism”
—some spammy spam site for spam
Actually, all the best albums come from sewer.
“THE assert submitted with the twenty five calendar year outdated singer claims she would never ever have allowed the outfits chain to utilize the graphic considering that she thinks she looks ugly on them.”
—michael kors replica
Ladies, amirite?!
“In Saturdays it’s important to be dressed in condominiums. Upon Mondays you should put on diamond rings much like diamond stud earrings or a band.”
—fake michael kors
You know, I’ve been dressing wrong this whole time. I don’t think I’ve ever, not ever, dressed in a condominium. Drat!
A hearty thanks to Michael Kors, be he human or be he bot, for creating products in such demand that there are entire technologies dedicated to hawking their facsimiles, and the entertainment thereof derived. Also, since this blog could have just as easily (and accurately!) been called “All The Things I Love About Bekah,” I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that today is her birthday!! Here is her cute stinking face. May her wine glass never again run empty.
Bekah birthday
And finally, congrats to the lovely Monique of Brown Vegan! She won the birthday giveaway, and will get a copy of my book. Thanks to everyone who commented!!
Original, non-Magritte image of Mr. Kors via